I dragged my numb being into the shower hoping to feel, to feel something, to feel anything at all. Turning the water on I waited for it to wash away my tears. The water weaved its way through my hair; it felt nice. Just nice. Not comforting. I wondered where I’d find the comfort I sought, the caress I craved to feel, the state of being which would make me want to rise from bed every morning. I wondered. As I dived into thoughts of despair, he took a naughty peek. I was yet to learn that familiarity doesn’t necessarily breed contempt, I liked people from a distance, that’s all I had to offer. So, I shoved him out. Well, I tried to. But he felt nice, he felt close, he felt like nothing I’d felt before. Why? Because he’s like nobody I’ve known. He was willing to take me for me – bitter, bare and broken as I was then. Oh how good that made me feel! But I was in denial. I showered in cold water, spent colder nights till I was numbed out by life.

Then he took a second peek. And came closer. I felt the caress and I knew nothing else mattered. I welcomed him. The water flowing inbetween us didn’t seem cold any longer; it injected life into me. As the bubbles of soap melted away into water so did the million invisible walls in my mind. I hadn’t just welcomed him into my arms, I’d welcomed life itself.

Now, I see beauty in things I’ve seen for years and I see beauty in people I’ve known for long. Beauty which earlier went unnoticed because I was too busy seeing the ugly. Now, I have hearty meals ( well, more than hearty perhaps), I wake up with a shining smile, I laugh an almost insane amount and most importantly, I feel, I feel alive. Paradoxically, he ushered life into my life. A silent cheer for someone who makes the my most mundane days beautiful, for someone who makes my biggest burdens seem like a bag of trash, for someone who drives me mad with his verbal antics, for someone who always keeps me guessing, for someone who’s been reading stuff up for a presentation that I have next week and on and on. Nothing should feel this good.

And, a big thank you to everyone who’s genuinely happy for me. Thank you for completing my happy picture.