diseased. i may
bleed to death. or
the many trees
my sight sees
will blur, my head
colliding against one.
the rush in leaving must
compete with the vitality
of the lived lengthy days,
of the seconds,
all of which were
much too short. like
the last leap before
taking the beats
away from throbbing.
throbbing warm
blood will flow from
where the words went in
and my hands will no
longer hold. and
the mind i minted
with great care
will meet a befitting
closure. Peace.


I owe this post to Ekom. Thank you:)

Easier said than done.

Someone dear asked me to blog about five things each that I like and dislike about myself. After many false starts and many months I got back to it. My attempt...

1. I fear. A lot of my time and abilities are consumed in the process of dealing with fears.

2. I rage. And I take immense effort to keep my temper under control. It’s like having to hold your head still to stop it from throbbing.

3. I miss people to a degree where my mind is paralyzed or frozen with that emotion.

4. I care. I can’t say no. It’s absurd. And it tires me.

5. I feel I’m somewhat…mildly…averse to everyone in some corner of my mind. It disturbs me.

On the other side…

1. The things mentioned above never mess with me to the extent that I’m left grappling visibly. I love my ability to compartmentalize and function. And I think it’s something that gets better the more you do it.

2. I’m committed. For people, who make me want to be there for them, I’ve unending reserves and limitless energy.

3. I love the way my mind synchronizes words, ideas and images in a matter of seconds for those rare lines. It’s hard to discern what goes on and it gives me the best of highs.

4. I care. It’s the one of the most rewarding parts of my life.

5. I laugh. And people laugh with me.

Easier said than done.

dear december

i tilt the tins of my mind

i scour the shelfs it contains

i turn out its pockets

i wish for whatever remains

oh stupidity!

when you speak
and I stir
sugar dissolves
and I seek
crystals still

a black dot
on a bright sun
renewed smiles

the Sisyphus in me has surrendered
his last breath rankling with realizations
his legacy a lone island

stretch
to give birth
stretch
to make love
stretch
to bridge the schism
stretch
to curb your rage
stretch
to reach out
stretch
to be patient
stretch
to prevent chaos
stretch
for nobody else will
stretch
all onus lies on you

for the predictable returns
and the unguarded gaze
for the endless eyebrows
for letting me in through the maze

for the cue behind the smile
and the dreams that race
for the amusing queries
and the full moon on my face

for the only rounded corner
and the bond well-browned
for the first waking moment
and the last moonlit sound

no thank you :)

Agony waters his roots
And yet, passion for fruits?

Leaves covered in dreary dust
And yet, shine, you must?

In the debris – dark and old
And yet, you found seeds of gold?

Wry nightly winds come fighting
And yet, you stand tall?

May you never stall


For a friend of mine who lends new meaning to every adjective I use for him.