that it's not the icecream but the laughter when it melts as we have it...
that it's not the new clothes but the eyes that like to dress you in joy...
that it's not the destination but the long rewarding ride together...
that it's not the sleeping on time but the sleeping with a smile...
that it's not the things that need to be in place but the priorities...
that it's not the nostalgia but the new budding moment...
that it's not the pages read but the sense made...
that it's not the distance but the desire to bridge it...
that it's not the meal but the making it together...
that it's not the advice that anyone seeks but the inspiration...
that it's not the things to-do but the hands that write those lists out...
that it's not the tiles but the paws that go pitter-patter on them...
that it's not the lips but the long lingering course towards them...
that it's not the happiness but the ability to truly find it...

1. I want to read my brand new copy of Gone with the Wind with Astro tucked into bed around my feet.

2. I want to bake pizzas and listen to my parents repeat their a-pizza-is-no-dinner lecture.

3. I want to listen to Mamma hum some old Bangla song while cooking in the kitchen.

4. I want to watch silently as my friends talk, hit, tease, swear and just generally be themselves.

5. I want to open my closet and read the letter that Pooja gave me on the last day of college.

6. I want to buy chunky, daring and bright earrings for my sister and watch her show them off to me proudly and say "you'd never carry something like this off anyway."

7. I want to trick Dad into saying September which he lisps and pronounces as "Sectemper."

8. I want to tease my Nani about how pretty she gets with age and watch her blush.

9. I want a call from a cousin.

10.I want to go to Blossoms to browse, Java City to chat, K C Das to gorge on desserts, Ulsoor lake to unwind my mind, Calcutta for a holiday...on on and on.

A list of ordinary happiness.

sometimes she
takes an endless year
to take down things
that were built so dear

sometimes she
puts on your lack of fear
and spends the long night
with a devil so near

sometimes she
rings up a random tear
and you think she's met her
perpetually darkened seer

sometimes she...

a puppet and a doll
into our worlds
took a stroll
and when the doll
danced her dark teary eyes
and the puppet
leaped to the stringy ties
nobody laughed
and everyone cried
that we were the same
none of us denied
the puppet puzzled
the doll lost all delight
back to the realm of toys
the only place for them right

a fractured hand
deep inside piles of the past
a divide in its grip
it perpetually needs a cast

a fractured hand raiding
a dump of death and dark
the fingertips just touch
the sliver of hope the spark

a fractured hand deftly
takes the Bible apart
and rises uncertainly to feel
the faith in human heart

a fractured hand but
is no steel clasp
like sand salt or the raging raindrops
it eludes every closed grasp