too many colours
vivid
vibrant
and all in vain

too many colours
i sprayed
to disguise
the dark blotches of pain

too many colours
i stepped back
i stared and realized
i like it plain

I may not be the centre of The Universe:P:) but I do feel like I'm shining in our own glittering galaxy. Thank you, dear all.

Why me? I'm not saying that because something has gone wrong yet again. I'm not saying that because I'm feeling stuck in a rut. I'm not saying that because I feel like I'm being picked on. I'm saying it because I feel chosen, chosen..not like hand picked apples but like I've been marked to smile all the while. Why me? Again, a silent cheer for him, for translating my sore throat to a soaring high and for finding the way to the post office. For me. And one for my Mum. For the two people, who care the most to see me smile.

Karunanidhi made some hugely offhand comments on Ram sparking off violence against Tamilians in Bangalore. Two people died in the bus that was set ablaze. The papers said one of them was tipsy and our CM said "we're looking into it."

Nobody even mentioned a monetary compensation.

India just won the T20 world cup. After all the pomp and show and talking about how the young India is making waves, news flashes across the screen say-

" The state government awards a sum of 5 lakh each to Venkatesh Prasad and Robin Uthappa."

Just where is the sense??!!

Lo and behold! The kirrket mania takes off yet again. This is one post I can’t help writing owing to my sincere contempt ( what did you think?!) for the game.Far more popular for the most profoundly ridiculous “issues” related to it than for the game itself, cricket takes the cake for being at the apex of a long long list of things Indians lay way too much emphasis on. I’m sure cricket’s one factor that’s hindering India from getting to that elusive double digit growth rate and even if it isn’t, I’d like to believe this all the same because I’ve heard people tell my dad “aap office ja rahe ho?! Aaj to India vs Pakistan hai na!” Not that my dad cares any less for cricket than this person.

Test cricket reminds me of people on their deathbeds. And worse!
Because death will come but a test match holycrap it never ends! And one day which basically means a waste of one whole day which could’ve been a fun Sunday otherwise. You’d think that was enough but no, the Universe really has no sympathy for me, because now we have a new aberration, lo and behold, T20. From whatever little I have had to see of that game per force, I’d say we were better off playing gilli danda. A big cheer for the bunch of cricketing clowns hitting left right and centre with their bats like there’s no tomorrow. They come, they run, they throw, they hit, they roll, they catch, they sledge but for a shorter period of time.

It could be a mating ritual for all you know.

Surprisingly, even mating takes a backseat with cricket on because our quintessential cricket crazy man can’t make love with one eye ogling at his TV and another at his biwi. And even if he could,I pray with all my might that the woman has enough gumption to hit the remote wham! on his head. This would hopefully bring him back to the mother earth and yeah, the cricket field because if he doesn’t sit around and pout heated instructions, what will happen to Team India’s match?!

I dragged my numb being into the shower hoping to feel, to feel something, to feel anything at all. Turning the water on I waited for it to wash away my tears. The water weaved its way through my hair; it felt nice. Just nice. Not comforting. I wondered where I’d find the comfort I sought, the caress I craved to feel, the state of being which would make me want to rise from bed every morning. I wondered. As I dived into thoughts of despair, he took a naughty peek. I was yet to learn that familiarity doesn’t necessarily breed contempt, I liked people from a distance, that’s all I had to offer. So, I shoved him out. Well, I tried to. But he felt nice, he felt close, he felt like nothing I’d felt before. Why? Because he’s like nobody I’ve known. He was willing to take me for me – bitter, bare and broken as I was then. Oh how good that made me feel! But I was in denial. I showered in cold water, spent colder nights till I was numbed out by life.

Then he took a second peek. And came closer. I felt the caress and I knew nothing else mattered. I welcomed him. The water flowing inbetween us didn’t seem cold any longer; it injected life into me. As the bubbles of soap melted away into water so did the million invisible walls in my mind. I hadn’t just welcomed him into my arms, I’d welcomed life itself.

Now, I see beauty in things I’ve seen for years and I see beauty in people I’ve known for long. Beauty which earlier went unnoticed because I was too busy seeing the ugly. Now, I have hearty meals ( well, more than hearty perhaps), I wake up with a shining smile, I laugh an almost insane amount and most importantly, I feel, I feel alive. Paradoxically, he ushered life into my life. A silent cheer for someone who makes the my most mundane days beautiful, for someone who makes my biggest burdens seem like a bag of trash, for someone who drives me mad with his verbal antics, for someone who always keeps me guessing, for someone who’s been reading stuff up for a presentation that I have next week and on and on. Nothing should feel this good.

And, a big thank you to everyone who’s genuinely happy for me. Thank you for completing my happy picture.